<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Garden Of Two Hearts by Bogh</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28754838">The Garden Of Two Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bogh/pseuds/Bogh'>Bogh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Beatles (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28754838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bogh/pseuds/Bogh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of George and Ringo coming togheter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>George Harrison/Ringo Starr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Starrison Holiday Gift Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lost storm of longing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous6285/gifts">Anonymous6285</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He felt so awful.<br/>
So lost and hopeless.<br/>
But he shouldn’t be feeling that way. He should be happy.<br/>
He is happy… he thought.</p><p>We’ll he should be anyway. He’s disgustingly rich, he has a lot of friends and he has a wife. He. Has. A. Wife.<br/>
He did everything to fit to the picture of perfect male of XX century. So what was missing?</p><p>A child.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m ready for a kid now.” he thought as he snorted another dose of cocaine. The music was loud, people were dancing but mostly everyone were drinking, smoking and overall drugging themself.<br/>
Slowly he started to feel the overpower bliss and smiled for the first time for a long time.<br/>
The party was great. Every note, every word and every sip of drink felt like it was waited forever for him. Everything was so bright, so happy. Pure heaven. There were basically no problems, the only one was the drug running out but all it must be done was another snort and everything went back to normal. Everything was cheerful again and there was nothing to be sad about. Only jokes, only laugh.<br/>
And then another dose would be taken to keep the circle going.</p><p>But everything would drastically change when he run out of cocaine. Every bad thought and insecurities came back to haunt him twice as much they usually did. The darkness would overcome him and the memory of forbidden feelings and probably unrequited love would make him curl and not moving for couple days.</p><p>That’s when he would meditate.<br/>
He would try to suppress his feelings for hours. He would try to reach the higher level of existence to confirm that he’s not submissive to his body.<br/>
What he feels is just a chemical reaction. Emotions are nothing. They doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t matter.<br/>
He needs to be in control of what he feels. He can’t be weak, he can’t let go of his longing for those beautiful, blue eyes that he could drown them…</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes his thoughts were so loud, the only way to tame them was distraction. So then drugs came to the scene.<br/>
And then another dose would be taken to keep the circle going.</p><p>“George, you can’t go on like this.” Terry said as he watched George wetting his eyes with eye drops.<br/>
“Uh huh” George hummed.<br/>
“I’m serious George. You can’t party like there’s no tomorrow and do every drugs known to man and then fast and meditate for 8 hours the next day! How long do you think you’ll last doing this to yourself?”<br/>
“ ‘till my death.” the guitarist answered dryly as he stood up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink.<br/>
“Yeah!” Terry yelled as he followed the man. “But do you know when you gonna die?!”<br/>
“The sooner, the better.”<br/>
Terry didn’t say anything. He just looked at him with a look full of disappointment and then left without a word. </p><p>It just didn’t make sense.<br/>
“It doesn’t make sense.” George thought to himself as he searched for a can of beer. “I have what I wanted after all. A big house, a… wife”. When he thought about his wife he person that came to his mind wasn’t Pattie, as he expected. </p><p>It was Ringo.</p><p>And for the first time for many years George allowed himself to think about his past with Ringo. How they met, how they get waited for each other to finish their gigs, how they snook out just to be with themself, how he convinced the rest of the boys to get Ringo into band, how they would just enjoy each others presence and how both of them would finally realise that what they feel might be more than just friendship.</p><p>He was too big of a coward to acknowledge what he really felt. He was too scared of what the others would say. </p><p>But know when he looked at it from a perspective he never felt so lonely in his life. He was so angry at himself for being such a coward. </p><p>“WHY I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” he yelled with pure fury as he threw the can of beer into the sink. He accidently hit the tap and so the water pumped out on the whole kitchen. “Fuck!” George gasped as he tried to stop the water from leaking. He ran from the kitchen only to come back with a monkey wrench. After a while he managed to stop the water from spreading everywhere but the pipes under the sink seemed to leak out the water. He exhaled deeply and get up to clean the water and to get the bucket. He’ll call the plumber later. When the water was dried and he found a decent bucket he only had to spread the paper under it just for the case. But the second he opened the papers he froze as he saw the headline.</p><p>“Ex-beatle Ringo Starr and his wife Maureen getting divorced.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shy whisper of tired sunflowers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Pattie, I- I- umm, there’s something I want to tell you.” George said with shaky voice.<br/>“What is it honey?” she asked as she putted the magazine away. <br/>“Is this it?” she thought. “Is he going to confess what im think he will?”</p><p>He looked into her eyes. He couldn’t say that now. He didn’t said that to anyone for all those years, then why would he say that now? He should just shut it but… </p><p>But he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore. If he can’t do it for himself then lets do it for her, eh?</p><p>“Honey? Do you want to sit down? Please honey, tell me, don’t be shy” Pattie said trying to sound reassuring. In reality she was very nervous. </p><p>“I don't really know how to start” he chuckled. It was weird, he pictured it so often but now when he had really to confess those feelings he had, his mind was blank.</p><p>“Umm so i um-” he took a deep breath. How should he say that? He really didn’t know.</p><p>“If you don't know how to start, then try to say straight up what’s going on” Pattie advised him. She could see her husband was really anxious. “Honey, I see that something is bothering you for long, please, please tell me. Whatever this is please tell me, I promise we’ll try to solve it together, right?” she tried again, patting the spot on the sofa next to her. George sat besides her but didn’t dare to make an eye contact. </p><p>“I- I” he swallowed ”I don't think I married you with love.” George swallowed anxiously.</p><p>She cupped his face. “Is there another?”</p><p>He blinked. “Yes. No. Maybe...I don’t know.”</p><p>“Is it Ringo?”</p><p>Now his face went white. How did she knew? Was he so obvious?</p><p>“H- how” he whispered.</p><p>“Don’t you know that wifes know everything?” she winked playfully but her eyes became sad. She leaned forward so that her forehead was against Georges. They stayed like that for moment until Pattie broke the silence. </p><p>“Do you want to marry him?” she asked calmly.</p><p>“I'm not... I can't... I'm not supposed to... What would people say? “ words were falling from his mouth with panicking voice as the tears rolled down on his cheeks.</p><p>“Shhh... Shhhh…” Pattie tried to calm him down. “George... Georgie... Darling…” she cupped his face and tried to brush the tears with her thumbs but he only sobbed more. </p><p>“George, look at me love. Please, look at me.” she tried again. George slowly lifted his head and opened his red and glossy eyes. Her heart broke at the sight but she smiled resurely. </p><p>“Now tell me, who do you want to spend your life with?” she asked.</p><p>“You're my only option.”</p><p>“No, George, no.” she exhaled deeply. </p><p>“Okay let's try this. Close your eyes.” he looked at her weirdly. “Don't opponent me, just close your eyes. Now, focus on what your heart says. Imagine a world where you can be with anyone you want to be. You would spend your life with them, being full of love. You would wake up next to the person you adore, you would cook dinner together everyday and have a little walk everyday before you'll go to sleep” as she was describing the perfect world she could see a little twitch on his mouth. </p><p>“Now, tell me, who was with you in that world.” he slowly opened his eyes as he was waking up form a dream and then look at her. His eyes became sadder as he whispered “I'm sorry… “and he sobbed again. “I'm so sorry... I shouldn't be feeling this way…” Pattie stroked his hair as he tried to hide his face in her lap.</p><p>“It's okay to feel that way.” she reassured him again.</p><p>“No it's not, it's disgusting. I'm disgusting.” George sobbed even harder.</p><p>“What you feel isn't disgusting.” she tried again.</p><p>“But I'm not suppose to, I'm not suppose to feel that way.”</p><p>“You can't control who you love.”</p><p>“But I can control who I am with.” </p><p>“How can you be happy with someone you don't love?”</p><p>“Love isn't that important.”</p><p>She looked at him suspiciously raising her eyebrow. </p><p>“George, weren't you singing about love whole the whole decade?”she chuckled. </p><p>"Emotions are tricky, we shouldn't be listening to them." he said looking up at her. "That's why meditation is for, to cut yourself from them. They're toxic."</p><p>"No!” she shouted. “no…” she added after a while. </p><p>“Meditation is about collecting your thoughts. You mediate to get clearer view of what you feel.” she stoped for a while.</p><p>“Is that why you mediated for so long?” she continued. “To run away from your feelings?” he nodded shyly. <br/>“Oh my poor, poor bear. My little shy flower.” Pattie kissed his hair. “Why would you think that’s a good idea?” she asked in the edge of tears.</p><p>“Dunno. I was scared. Scared of what I felt all those years.” he answered as he picked on his fingers.</p><p>“I just wish you could tell me sooner”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, so sorry Pattie. I really did not want to do this to you. Pattie, I love you, I really do-”<br/>“But you cant be with me.”<br/>“I guess I can’t.”</p><p>They stayed in silence each of them in their own thoughts. George being all drained off his energy after this confrontation but happy how it went and Pattie thinking of all those moments when she was suspicious of their relationship. </p><p>“What will happen to us now?” George asked after a while.</p><p>“We’ll divorce.” Pattie answered quickly. </p><p>“That’s terrible.”</p><p>“Don’t you want  to be with Ritchie?” Pattie tiled her head. “Now when he’s not married with Maureen anymore?”</p><p>“I don’t want to leave you alone.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine.” she smiled reassuringly but her eyes were still sad. </p><p>They stayed silent and each of them went to their minds again.</p><p>“I will miss you.” Pattie said after a while. </p><p>“I’ll miss you more.” George whispered back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>At first maybe I'll apologise for being two weeks late. Excuses won't change anything, it was my fault and I apologise.<br/>Secondly, I want to reasure that it's not all everything. There's another chapter in progress. Expect it at the end of the month.<br/>And of course, my wishes. I hope your holidays were lovely, despite our situation. I hope next year will bring some smiles to you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>